Reflections Amid Chaos

An Essay on Anguish, the Insanity of the Modern Mind, and the Search for Serenity in Turbulent Times

May 31, 2024

São Leopoldo, May 31, 2024 - Edition 017 - Fer’s Newsletter

Another year is approaching, or would it be more accurate to say passing? In just over 10 days, it will be another year of life, or can we say it’s one year less to live?

Have you ever asked yourself this kind of question, or is it just a product of my depressive madness with hints of psychopathy? Mixed with tons of anxiety about wanting to succeed in this life.

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Can madness have limits?

Now, sitting at my desk in my new office in the Moinhos de Vento neighborhood of Porto Alegre, I must confess something: I wish I didn't think as much as I do because there are times when the exhaustion hits incredibly hard. For a long time now, being idle has been even worse. It activates a heavy mode of thinking, which is why I always need to be doing something. Or, when I manage to sleep, it's even better.

Some argue that I must be doing well if I think so much and always do something. Or, as we say here, “on top of the world.” These are random, confusing, and often disconnected thoughts. However, this constant thinking ends up overheating the "hard drive."

Not to mention that for me to write this right now, I had to put on some music—and not just any type of music—because I couldn't concentrate due to the noises of a capital city overwhelmed by the problems of the past month. People talking loudly, cars passing by, army trucks driving the wrong way, and a security guard talking on the phone.

Writing

Writing has been a way, though I’m unsure if it’s the most effective, where I can disconnect from the world for a few moments, like a switch that turns on and off, or that rush of endorphins that help me relax.

However, just as stories have two sides, the moment I publish what I write and wait for comments, it triggers a cortisol bomb. Yes, it’s all very crazy, and more than once I’ve told my psychologist:

“It’s not easy being me.”

But here I am, nearly 46 years old, still trying to understand myself and not succeeding. So, don’t try to tell me you don’t understand me; I don’t blame you, it’s true!

The great thing about writing a newsletter is that you are free: screw SEO techniques, and the algorithms for Google to understand and deliver your text to more people. Plus, you don't have to be tied to a specific app that might stop working tomorrow, leaving you high and dry without any help.

You write and send it to those who are willing to read you, regardless of whether you are tied to algorithms or not, which makes you release endorphins to the level of getting addicted to how many likes and views you receive. But don't be fooled, my little grasshopper, newsletters have metrics too, including finding out the percentage of emails opened, who opened them, and whether they clicked on any links. There are also tools to know if recipient "x" received and deleted without opening.

Sometimes I wonder why someone would subscribe to a newsletter and never, that’s right, never open an email you send. Is it just to be nice to the author of the newsletter?

An open rate of 20% to 25% in Brazil is a good number. Ideally, it should be above 30%. Furthermore, a 100% open rate doesn’t happen even with celebrities or authorities in certain fields. However, the question remains: why do they subscribe then?

There’s another thing that intrigues me but in a positive way. Knowing that in Brazil, people don’t read and have an average IQ comparable to a monkey's – if I find that information, I’ll put the link here – is the amount of foreign subscribers and followers of Mentes em Evolução. Not a day goes by without new people joining, and that is cool.

I dare to say that it wouldn't surprise me at all if the first paid subscriber wasn't a Brazilian. You can screenshot this because when it happens (and if it happens), I'll mention it here.

I believe that email—contrary to what many say—is not dead, despite the rise of other applications. Moreover, I believe it will become even more powerful as content creators understand its potential, and readers gain more choices. For the former, the creators, as they say in digital marketing, are the leads.

And you know the best part? Even if only 20% to 25% of subscribers open your content, these are qualified leads or, as they're also known, hot leads.

Finally...

I, Fernando, believe in this and am betting much more on this platform than on YouTube, even though I already have a monetized channel there. I've given up on Instagram and TikTok, but that doesn't mean they are bad tools. However, proportionally, I am "seen more" here than on the Chinese app, where I have 10,000 followers.

As I said at the beginning of the text, it is through writing that I feel most comfortable and where I find peace of mind, without needing more antidepressants and anxiolytics.

Anyway, it's time to return to the madness of my thoughts. Goodbye!

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